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Lesson In Logic

A third-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A little girl raised her hand and said, "To draw out all his savings?"

by (few years ago!) / 515 views
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Similar Jokes

office jokes

Have you ever worked in an office where someone insisted upon listening to their voice mail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally). It can really begin to bother you after a while. There was a fellow in my office who was the ultimate offender.

I found a fairly easy fix for that, though. I have my wife call his desk when he's not there and leave a message like "Hi, this is Candy from 1-900-HOT-BABE. You haven't paid for the 'toys' we sent you, you naughty boy. You wouldn't want me to come over there and spank you, would you?"

It is the last time you hear that particular speakerphone, I can assure you.

by (few years ago!)
A STORY ABOUT EVERYBODY

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What kind of dog is the smartest A great brain

by (few years ago!)
Zoo jokes

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lions mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked Carefully replied the vet

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?A: She went looking for the three guys.

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

How do you find your dog if hes lost in the woods ?Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

by (few years ago!)
Dog jokes

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ?Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

by (few years ago!)
How to Annoy Your Co Workers

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.
3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only
by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but
I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what
you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as
often since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call
everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge
to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself at random the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell
people you're waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or
her if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an
intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the
disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN".
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake
in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none,
lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has
withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

by (few years ago!)
Men jokes

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns dont talk.

by (few years ago!)
Get caught sleeping?

Best excuses
10) ''They told me at the blood bank this might happen.''

9) ''This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.''

8) ''Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time!''

7) ''I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.''

6) ''I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.''

5) ''I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stess. Do you discriminate toward people who practice Yoga?''

4) ''Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.''

3) ''The coffee machine is broken...''

2) ''Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot...''

1) ''.....in Jesus' name, Amen.''

by (few years ago!)
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