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Clean those restrooms

On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."

By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

by (few years ago!) / 677 views
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Religious jokes

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

by (few years ago!)
ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE


A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y.

Shortly after the couple was married they were honeymooning in Jamaica the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis.
The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"

The Jamaican replied, "No, Mr. that says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day"

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Blonde jokes

Why would a blonde wear green lipstick A Because red means Stop.

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A NEW NAVIGATION TECHNIQUE

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out.

He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with a guy working alone on the fifth floor. He banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"

The man replies, "You're in an airplane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to perform a perfect blind landing on the airport runway 5 miles away.
Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.

"Quite easy," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore, that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles due East."

by (few years ago!)
The Big Flood

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.


The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

by (few years ago!)
Half The Job

"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you."

Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two."

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that its empty, and goes back inside.Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that its still empty, and goes back in.The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"The blonde replies, "Darn right theres a problem! My computer keeps on telling me Ive got mail!"

by (few years ago!)
IN THE BEGINNING...

In the beginning was the computer. And God said :Let there be light!

#You have not signed on yet.
:God.

#Enter user password.
:Omniscient.

#Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Omnipotent.

#Password Incorrect. Try again!

by (few years ago!)
Computer jokes

Whats the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something

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School jokes

School Principal: Ive called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldnt use so often. One is "great" and the other is "lousy." Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

by (few years ago!)
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