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Fallen bridge

blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.

The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.

She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn't get back.

He yelled in response, "Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back."

She replied, "No, I'll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!"

by (few years ago!) / 524 views
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Similar Jokes

The programmer's cheer

Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

by (few years ago!)
Sports jokes

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry. No pets allowed."

The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.

The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?"

The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years!"

by (few years ago!)
Lawyer In Hell

A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second."

In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that's better than brick," the man said, "but show me the third."

In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.

"I'll choose this room," he said.

Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.

Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, "OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads."

by (few years ago!)
A Poo Question

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.

"Where does poo come from?" She asks.

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the girl.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the goodstuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And Tigger?"

by (few years ago!)
Misc Jokes

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy."

Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

by (few years ago!)
kid jokes


A Cub Scout trop was half an hour late to its den meeting. The den mother asked them severely, “Why are you so late?”
“Oh,” said one boy, “we were helping an old man cross the street.”
“That’s a nice thing for scouts to do,” said the mother. She paused. “But it shouldn’t make you half an hour late.”
“Well, you see,” said another boy, “he didn’t want to go.”

by (few years ago!)
lawyer jokes

"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!"

"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"

by (few years ago!)
Blonde jokes

What is a brunette between two blondes?A. An interpreter.

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

Strolling into a bank, the moron presented a check and asked the teller to cash it. The teller informed the woman that she must first identify herself. Pulling a mirror from a purse the woman looked in it and said, “Yes sir-it’s me, all right.

by (few years ago!)
PANDA WARNING

A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar.
A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?"

The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, pal."

And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up the word 'panda.'

"What's it say?" asks the bartender.

The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."

by (few years ago!)
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