Search Jokes
e.g. faraz, sardar, etc.

Business Trip

On a business trip to San Diego, I was feeling little lonely. So I went to the local house of ill-repute and asked for Sarah Jones. After a wild evening, Sarah said I was the best and she was sorry that she had to ask for $100. I smiled and gave her $200. The next night, we were at it again. Later she apologetically asked for another $100 since she "works for a living". I smiled and gave her another $200. The third night, I dropped by for one last roll in the hay. Afterwards, she asked for the $100. When I gave her another $200 and told her that I had to return to Boston. She remarked that she had a sister in Boston and I said, "I know. Your sister asked me to bring you $600!"

by (few years ago!) / 760 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

THE PACKERS FAN


There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.

When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"

The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."

The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"

The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."Applicant: "Im the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

by (few years ago!)
THE GREAT BLONDE KIDNAP

Daddy! can I go to Miami!

What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
She turned it over and used the other side.

How do you change a blonde's mind?
Blow in her ear.

What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
There are some things even a blonde won't do.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
She moved.

Why do blondes look up and smile at lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.

What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline!
Why do blondes have square breasts?
Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box!

What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Why can't blondes count to 70?
Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop.

What did the blonde customer say to the waitress when reading her nametag?
"Mary... that's cute. What did you name the other one?"

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.

What do blondes say after sex?
"Thanks, guys!"

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Hewlett Packard, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Apple Computer, Inc. we don't pee on our hands."

by (few years ago!)
Jokes by Kids

Want to see your joke here? Submit a joke over at JokesByKids. Every week we publish the best four or five new jokes in our newsletter, on the JokesByKids.com site, and right here!

by (few years ago!)
New Microsoft Windows advertising slogans

At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" These are some alternative and probably more truthful ad slogans for use with Windows.

1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.

2. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.

3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.

4. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.

5. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.

6. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.

7. Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.

8. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.

9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.

10. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better

11. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.

12. Double your drive space: Delete Windows!

13. OS/2. Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.

14. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [A]solutely [O]f Course!

15. How do you want to crash today?

by (few years ago!)
Business jokes

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the clerk replied.
"That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to leave, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

by (few years ago!)
Animal jokes

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining the day is young,
we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside
worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring
that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the
light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these
people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed
any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no
one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still mess on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...
13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...
15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs.
So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE
MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.

by (few years ago!)
TWO TEXANS


Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm a gonna go over there and help."

He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big, Texan hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she shook her head no.

He asked, "Kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she again shook her head no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her on the butt. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own.

The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick manoeuvre always works.

by (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

QUOTES FROM EMPLOYEE APPRAIS..

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS

Train

ERROR - UNABLE TO LOAD CONTROL : /controls/members/members_facebook.ascxd:\websites\azdomains\lol101.com\wwwroot\controls\members\members_facebook.ascx(11): error CS0103: The name 'FacebookSettings' does not exist in the current context