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Men & Women Jokes; 302 Jokes

Women jokes

Why do women have smaller feet than men It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Should I have a baby after 35?No, 35 children is enough

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor manA Stupid

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

What is cosmetics? ANSWER: Cosmetics is a womans means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Whats the best way to get a youthful figure? ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh, doctor, my girlfriends just dislocated her jaw Can you come over in say three or four weeks time.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Why is a modem better than a woman? A: A modem doesnt mind if you talk to other modems. A modem doesnt complain if you sit and play at the computer all night. A modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone. A modem comes with an instruction manual.

by (few years ago!)
Women jokes

Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?A: It depends on the age.

by (few years ago!)
Men Vs. Women Jokes

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

by (few years ago!)
Men Vs. Women Jokes

"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" the cashier asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

by (few years ago!)
Men Vs. Women Jokes

Girl: You remind me of the sea.
Boy: Why? Because I'm so wild and romantic?
Girl: No. You make me sick.

by (few years ago!)
Men Vs. Women Jokes

How does an archeologist tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton?
A: He knows it’s a female skeleton if the jawbone is worn down.

by (few years ago!)
Men Vs. Women Jokes

A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?" The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000." The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?" "Well," the doctor replied,” the female brain is less because it has been used."

by (few years ago!)
Men Vs. Women Jokes

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

by (few years ago!)
Men Vs. Women Jokes

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started
back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did
you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your
private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen
before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
"My wife's first husband."

by (few years ago!)

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